I\u2019ve been writing professionally for publishing houses, and ghostwriting for individual clients, for over 30 years. In that time, I\u2019ve worked with a parade of engaging individuals, each of whom had a story to tell or a business to brand. I\u2019m happy to say that I\u2019ve enjoyed collaborating with most of my clients, and grateful that most have responded positively to my work.<\/p>\n
And then there is that unique breed of client that drives you crazy. Such clients are not reserved for ghostwriters but can be found all throughout the business world. These irritating clients often induce every fiber of your body to start shouting at you, \u201cdon\u2019t work with this person!\u201d\u00a0 Yet, somehow you convince yourself that your working relationship will improve as you go.\u00a0 WRONG!\u00a0 Here are a few clients from hell that I\u2019ve dealt with and you may wish to avoid.<\/p>\n
1. The Timeless Wanderer:<\/strong> These folks spend more time scheduling and rescheduling meetings than they spend at meetings. They simply have no respect for time, yours or anyone else\u2019s. I recently worked for an author who was writing about the new ways of work. Unfortunately, she thought that tight deadlines were just a suggestion, and more than anything she loved scheduling meetings. I\u2019ll never forget her crowning achievement one morning when she scheduled 41 meetings to take place over the next month. The following day she cancelled all 41 meetings. This kind of activity was par for the course. Even more maddening was that while travelling around the world she would schedule global Zoom meetings with absolutely no acknowledgment of the various time zones. I recall an associate saying, \u201cKatelyn, with all due respect, you do know that it\u2019s 5 a.m. for those of us in New York and none of us want to be up at this hour.\u201d<\/p>\n Despite the worldwide use of time management software and scheduling devices these clients are living in their own personal time zones and make scheduling, planning, meeting deadlines and doing business together extremely difficult.<\/p>\n 2. The Yes But-head: <\/strong>These are the clients that are honored to work with you and will openly proclaim that you are indeed \u201cthe expert.\u201d They will say, \u201cYes,\u201d as in they love your suggestions or ideas. However, they will always <\/strong>follow it with the word \u201cbut\u201d meaning \u201cbut we\u2019ll do everything my way.\u201d This can be particularly disheartening when you know (from experience) that their way won\u2019t work.<\/p>\n Sometimes you just go along for the ride in hopes of gradually nudging them in the right direction for success. \u00a0Often, however, Yes But-heads are both obstinate and exasperating.\u00a0 I worked with a gentleman on his memoir, in which he wanted to include 350 stories, many of which were rather mundane. I suggested he cut it down considerably since nobody wants to read 350 stories about anyone unless its\u2019 the Royal Family, or perhaps the Kardashians. He agreed to cut the number down and returned with a list of only 348 stories. All I could say was \u201creally?\u201d And no, this massive book never became a reality.<\/p>\n Try to catch the Yes But-Heads early on in the process. If they are thrilled by your guidance but follow none of your advice, you may need to say early on, and in a manner they with which they are familiar; \u201cyes<\/strong>\u201d I\u2019d like to work with you \u201cbut<\/strong>\u201d I really can\u2019t.<\/p>\n 3. The Chameleon client <\/strong> Unable to make a clear decision also means you might be a perfect fit for the job today but not tomorrow.\u00a0 If the client discusses having worked with various previous writers, decorators, lawyers, consultants, contractors, brokers, coaches, or lion tamers prior to your arrival, it is likely that you may also be easily expendable.\u00a0 Don\u2019t count on a long relationship with a chameleon client.<\/p>\n 4. The Ultra Thrifty Client<\/strong> Stand firm on payment terms and be specific about what is included and what is not. \u00a0You should also be very cautious about backend deals for services rendered as well as attempts at barter deals. I once had a client who wanted me to write for him but also wanted to pay me in what he claimed were \u201cvaluable\u201d oriental rugs. I can\u2019t make this stuff up. I declined his offer since I doubted that either my landlord or the cashier at the supermarket would take a couple of area rugs for a month\u2019s rent or a week\u2019s groceries.<\/p>\n 5. The Dreamers (aka unrealistic Clients)<\/strong> Reality is a wonderful concept as long as everyone buys-in. When client\u2019s expectations exceed what they can afford or what is actually possible, you need to step back. Try to nudge the client\u2019s enthusiasm toward more realistic possibilities, but if they insist upon seeking out the gold at the end of the rainbow don\u2019t agree to be their travel guide.<\/p>\n Be on the lookout for these, and other, clients from hell starting with your first encounter, and remember sometimes it\u2019s best to go with your gut feeling, especially if it\u2019s accompanied by an intense desire to flee or disconnect.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rich Mintzer<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019ve been writing professionally for publishing houses, and ghostwriting for individual clients, for over 30 years. In that time, I\u2019ve worked with a parade of engaging individuals, each of whom had a story to tell or a business to brand. I\u2019m happy to say that I\u2019ve enjoyed collaborating with most of my clients, and grateful that most have responded positively to my work. And then there is that unique breed of client that drives you crazy. Such clients are not reserved for ghostwriters but can be found all throughout the business world. 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\nThere are people who simply cannot make up their minds.\u00a0 I started working with a client on a book proposal about business leadership, but then he wanted to switch and write about his love of cycling instead. Then it was back to a leadership book, but no, it should be about cycling. Leadership, cycling, leadership, cycling – he changed topics like a chameleon changes colors.\u00a0 Finally he insisted that we combine cycling and business leadership into a single book proposal. After we debated the issue, I suggested we send the awkward and confusing leadership \/ cycling book proposal to an agent to see what she had to say. Three days later the agent called and said quite matter-of-factly as if to point out what was painfully obvious \u201cthese are two separate books.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nThis is the client that always wants a few dollars off, even before they know your rate.\u00a0 Typically it takes them a while to sign a contract since that might indicate an obligation of payment.\u00a0 These clients take great joy in letting you know that whatever you\u2019re selling (service or product) they can get it cheaper. \u00a0The ultra thrifty client will also try to get a package deal. \u00a0Consider the client who handed his lawyer a stack of 25 tickets and asked:\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cSince you\u2019re already handling my extortion case can you won\u2019t mind also getting me out of these damn parking tickets will you?<\/p>\n
\nUnrealistic clients need to be set straight.\u00a0 I once had a gentleman call me about ghostwriting his book. He asked if I could guarantee it would sell three million copies. I knew that was absurd, so I asked him; \u201cAre you Steven King?\u201d He said \u201cno,\u201d so I told him I could not give him such a guarantee.<\/p>\n